Introduction
The Anger Busting Workbook is a simple, straightforward, hands-on approach to managing out-of-control anger. The practical components of the program provide a lot of flexibility, so the material can be used in a variety of settings. The Workbook is useful and effective when used as a part of individual or couples therapy for couples dealing with anger issues, as a template for anger management groups, and even as a work-at-home course. But it is called a workbook for a very important reason – clients must do the work! This course doesn’t rely on talking about feelings or regressing to earlier emotional states or just sitting and talking about whatever pops into someone’s head at the moment. The premise behind the Anger Busting model is that people can change NOW, if they are willing to change, willing to commit to change, and willing to WORK on changing.
If you haven’t done so yet, pick up the Workbook now and just flip through the pages. Do you notice all those pages filled with blank lines? This is where all that work gets done. No matter what setting you choose, no matter what schedule you follow, the heart of the program is filling in these blank lines with honest, accurate answers. Encourage your clients to follow the directions for each step – even the ones that seem scary or unfair. If they give the truest answers they can, the program will become a road map guiding them to a safer, saner life.
Dual Focus
One of the most unique aspects of the Anger Busting Workbook is the fact that it is actually two workbooks in one. Part I – A Recovery Plan for Angry Men – is to be used by the anger addict. The three chapters in this section provide a step-by-step recovery plan to help the addict get control of his anger, exchange unhealthy belief systems for more helpful ones and lay the foundation for more constructive patterns of communication with his wife. Several of the exercises rely on input from and participation by his wife (if that is at all possible), but this section is where the addict does his work.
Part II – A New Strategy for the Women Coping With Angry Men – is a very powerful and helpful tool for women who are struggling with the confusing dynamics that living with an anger addict can produce. Women will first be challenged to face the reality of their own situation as they use various assessment tools to analyze what is actually going on. From there, they will be guided to define how they really feel and to ask for what they really need in this relationship. The workbook provides all the tools they need to develop a plan for what they would like to happen next, including very helpful exercises that can empower them to respond with more clarity and confidence to the shifting emotional terrain they encounter every day. Even if the addict is not presently engaged in working the program, a woman involved with an angry man can benefit immensely from working in the material for herself. The likelihood of her angry spouse picking up this workbook and pursuing his own recovery will increase dramatically if she will go ahead and do her work anyway.
With that brief introduction out of the way, let’s take a closer look at the various ways this workbook can be used to help couples in crisis.
Eight-Week Program for Anger Management Groups
Perhaps the most typical or popular way to use this workbook is as a discussion template for anger management groups. Anger addicts are often court-mandated to undergo anger management training, and this work is typically conducted in a group setting. Groups are very effective in helping to ameliorate addictive behaviors because of the “no BS‿ factor inherent in such groups. No one can spot a con, call a bluff, or neutralize an excuse like someone who has been a player himself. For this reason, group members are very effective at holding each other accountable to the rules of the group, which motivates everyone to stay focused, be honest and do the required work.
Six-Week Program for Women Coping With Angry Men
Chapters Four through Six of the Workbook provide a great foundation on which to build a support group for women who are trying to sort out their feelings and choices about the angry men in their lives. The information developed for this section of the Workbook includes insightful and innovative material that will challenge them to see themselves and their situations in brand new ways. However, some of the concepts introduced here will seem not only different, but counterintuitive to women who have been conditioned to accept certain things in life as unpleasant but inevitable. For this reason, a support group setting will greatly increase the impact of the program, because women will be able to interact, brainstorm, and validate the material for each other as they go along.
Variations on the Group Session Model
For the sake of expediency, this administrative material has been organized around the assumption that the Men’s Group would meet for eight sessions over eight weeks (assuming the group meets once a week), and the Women’s Group would meet for six weeks, with both groups functioning as closed groups. Participants attending all sessions would receive a completion certification or other recognition at the end. However, the material is certainly flexible enough to accommodate a variety of formats.
For one thing, the 8 week and 6 week limitations are slightly arbitrary. Depending on the needs of the persons involved, the number of sessions could be expanded to allow the material to be examined in even greater detail. For instance, any session could be divided into two, or even three sessions, by doing only a few of the exercises at a time. However, it would be difficult to reduce the number of sessions here and still get the maximum benefit from the group
The material can also be modified to fit the needs of an open group. Many anger management groups that address the needs of court-mandated clients function as open groups. Likewise, most support groups for abused women offered by women’s shelters are likely to be open groups. As new members join the group, they could be given a workbook and directed to begin at the beginning. Approximately half of the time during an open group should be devoted to group members discussing the material they have been working on individually. The rest of the time the facilitator could present information and lead discussions on the major concepts discussed in the workbook. The facilitator could start at the beginning of the Administrative material and, over the course of several weeks, present various parts in sequence before returning to the beginning and starting all over again. In this way, the group could run perpetually while adding and “graduating‿ members every week.
Using the Workbook In Individual Therapy
For the most part, the eight-week course (for men) and the six-week course (for women) provide excellent models that can also be used in individual therapy. The only difference would be to require the client to discuss every example in every exercise, instead of just highlighting one. (In this administrative guide, participants are usually limited to discussing only one example in the interest of time.) Individual therapy also offers the opportunity to invite the spouse in for those sessions when input that she supplied is going to be discussed. In some situations, it might even be safer and more productive to save the face-to-face exercises between spouses and have those exchanges take place during the session.
Couples Therapy
Perhaps the best way to use this material in couples therapy would be to first start each person in their material individually. As each one progresses through their program, those sections that call for interaction between spouses could be conducted in joint sessions. In addition, joint sessions should be held regularly to assess the accuracy of the reports each one may be giving about their progress (or lack of progress) at home, and to give plenty of opportunities to practice the new behavior patterns in a supervised setting.
Simultaneous Group Sessions
With a little creative ingenuity, it is even possible to have groups for spouses running simultaneously – husbands working on their program, and their partners meeting either in another room or at a different time to do their program. (Meeting on different days might make details such as childcare easier to work out.) There are administrative challenges to such an arrangement, but it is a great way to get a large number of couples moving through this material as quickly as possible.
The Layout of This Administrative Guide
In addition to separate sections for men’s programs and women’s programs, this material is also subdivided into a Timeline section and a Guideline section for each group.
The Timeline section provides a quick reference outline that summarizes each exercise in each session, and provides suggestions and reminders for each step. The Timeline section provides the basis for discussion notes that a facilitator can use during each group meeting.
The Guideline section includes most of the information contained in the Timeline section, along with additional ideas and insights that can be used to help the facilitator prepare for each group session.
One Final Note
While we have made every effort to include information in this Administrative Guide to help you effectively assist people who are working on the material, the Administrative Guide is not a substitute for reading and understanding The Anger Busting Workbook, or its companion, Anger Busting 101. In order to have a complete understanding of the methods and theories discussed in the Administrative Guide, you should become thoroughly familiar with both of these resources
